There's no crying in baseball, and who would expect to be teary-eyed at a birthday party? Well, that was me. The lights went out, the candles were lit, the group began to sing, and I suddenly realized for the young child's birthday there was no father in attendance.
I resisted the urge to cry and hoped it was too dark for anyone to notice. I had no related thoughts on the subject the entire party until right then. It just popped into my mind and caught me off guard making it all the harder to reign in the tears.
I tried to rationalize it. I know the mom is a single parent - wait, I actually don't know that. My impression is that she's a single mom. There could be reasons the father wasn't there that wouldn't be tear worthy. Maybe the guy has the Norovirus!
Unfortunately, I've met this family before and picked up on concerns before. I will be surprised if Dad is in the picture; I haven't seen him yet.
Traits of an empath can include being moved to tears over things more easily than others, stories on the news, for example. Not everyone that cries at events (weddings for example) is an empath. Being easily moved to tears can be a symptom of depression as well. While we learn to stop rationalizing our empathic perception as we grow in our gift, it's important for sensitive empaths to periodically get a reality check on their mental health.
How about you - do you cry easily at events?
I cried at my 8th birthday party because my "best friend" blew out my candles.
ReplyDeleteLater in the week, we had birthday cake with just family, and I cried again. My sister had seen my best friend blow out my candles and thought it would be fun to make me cry again. So she blew out my candles.
Turning 8 was pretty traumatic for me. Twice.
Here's my question about this family without the father there-- what do you do besides feel teary about it? Do you check and see whether it's their tears or your own?
I find I have to check out their feelings because sometimes I am projecting what I would expect to feel rather than picking up on their feelings.
Sometimes they are actually sad and are grateful that someone noticed and said something supportive.
Do you know what I mean?
I completely know what you mean on several points! On your eighth birthday, isn't it sometimes hardest to be empathetic towards the ones we love the most?
ReplyDeleteWith knowing whether it is their tears or my own, I can't always tell. But, when I've been feeling fine, and suddenly an unexpected emotion hits me, I lean more towards thinking I'm picking it up from others. A reiki master once told me that was her method, and I like it. Still, I reserve falling firmly on the conclusion until it plays out.
Then what do you do? Do you say anything? I struggle with this and am still finding my way. One thing I feel sure of is that we are not always supposed to do anything except to pray if we feel so moved. We can pick up on more than most, and it isn't always for us to intervene.
Discernment in this area so delicate. I think if we're meant to say anything, an opportunity will arise - then we have to do our best to be prepared to offer solace.
Thank you for raising so many poignant questions, ThatGirl!
Do either of you ever see people on the streets and feel compelled to act? I work in Philadelphia, and often as I'm taking a lunchtime walk, I feel compelled (yes, I think by God sometimes) to speak a word of solace to people as I pass by--the woman yelling on the phone, I am told "please calm yourself, your heart needs it"; the street person, I am compelled to hug; the business man with a worried look, a simple "it will be all right". My fear of the stranger keeps my mouth at bay, yet, I still think about these moments, and know that God is trying to lead me in a direction of being more involved. Of using my Gift to impact people every moment. How does one do that and get past such fears rooted in us by a society that teaches us to think people are not inherently Good?? Love to you both.
ReplyDeleteIt is exactly the same way with me, and I too am always afraid to say anything. I guess my fear is partly the stranger, but also rejection. I'm afraid if I say something, they will feel that I've intruded and not so kindly say "butt out."
ReplyDeleteThe ones that are easiest for me are the strangers (sometimes people I know) that just start talking to me, unexpectedly, about personal things. I'm tempted to escape, but I've learned to stop and listen to them even when it is inconvenient for me.
For example, I was out to dinner with my family, parents, and Aunt and Uncle. A women sitting alone near us began talking to my young children (who of course were terrified and hid). I spoke to her on and off through the meal and at the end went over to her, shook hands, said "God bless" and goodbye to her. As we walked out one family member said, "Do you know that woman?" My Dad smiled, I'm sure he knew that I did not. I think some may have felt that she was intruding on our meal, but in essence she joined us.